December 4, 2013

Bombshell Blurb: Running

As anyone who has ever talked to me for a decent amount of time knows…I hate running. Hate hate hate it. Hate it with a passion. And I know I'm not alone with this because not only do 97% of my friends hate running…99% of all swimmers hate running as well. I know, I did a non-scientific study on it. Between the panting and heaving for breath while hot sweat drips off your forehead to the aches and pains it's just…euck no thanks! I'd rather be in the pool not feeling my sweat as it mixes with the chlorine water.
However… I just went running. The logic of this decision is mind-blowing I know. But I do have my reasons. Even though I hate running, and yes I still hate it with such a burning passion, I love the feeling you get after pushing yourself really hard through any workout and running was my choice today. Mom and I want to run together over Spring Break when we take a trip to….[a destination to be revealed in a longer post later] and since I am working hard at my 'revenge' plan (although it's not really revenge…more on this later as well) that includes two steps: indifference and sexiness, working out consistently and eating right is my plan.
Let me explain how, even though je d├ęteste running, I get motivated enough to run hard. The tools I use are: kick-ass music and memories. The music part is pretty self explanatory, choose whatever song/artist/album/playlist that makes you just want to work faster, push yourself further. Today I chose the always-motivational Nicki Minaj who took turns singing "Moment 4 Life", "Super Bass", and "Starships" in my ears as I ran. The memories part requires a bit of explanation.
By "memories", I mean every time you've felt awkward/out of place/self conscious because of how you looked or felt. By "memories" I mean every time someone has called you a name, pointed at you, laughed at you, anything that has made you feel awful. This might make you feel bad if you think about it now, so don't. I choose not to think about all these things that I experience on a somewhat-daily basis because it depresses me, and being depressed is not a fun experience. So I only think about these things when I'm swimming a long set or running on a fast interval or doing pushups as way to motivate myself.
(That's actually my biggest key to how I stay confident and 'cheerful', I try not to think about all the negative things people may be saying or have said about me, and even what I've thought about myself. I worried about it too much in the past and it caused problems, one of my problems anyway. Just don't go there with yourself unless you have an outlet to deal with it.) Today when I was running and thinking over these, I actually started to run faster and realized my hands were curled into fists. It's a great way to get your anger and frustration and hurt out, without hurting anyone else or yourself. And I must say, despite the heaving and the aches, I loved seeing my tomato-red face in the mirror and those beads of sweat dropping off my face onto the treadmill track as I bent over when my set was done.
I may not like the process of running, but when this is all over and my 'revenge' plan can be put in place…I'm going to thank my lucky stars for sending me to the gym to workout on days I felt like I couldn't, 1) so I can get the 'sexy' part down and 2) so I don't have built-up anger and resentment. However, I'm doing this for me. That's the most important thing. Don't change yourself for others, do it for yourself. (Cliche I know, but there's a reason it's stuck around so long: maybe it has a point!) To quote the [insert-your-adjective-of-choice-here]
Kim Kardashian: "It was my big middle finger to the world." Running and exercise where I think about all the people and things trying to tear me down, and yet I keep rising higher is my middle finger to the world. What's yours?
Wow this post is actually a lot longer than I thought it was going to be… oh well. I'll be posting again sometime soon so I'll keep you posted lovelies! 

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