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November 30, 2013

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I like to plan everything in advance. Like…way in advance. *cough* I may have planned out my entire wedding about six times *cough* But I have gotten better as I've "grown up", I'm letting things happen as they happen and not planning out things. I no longer have a selection of five wedding dresses for the five different weddings planned at different points during the year, depending on when the proposal is. (Don't judge me I was like 12 when I planned this all out, also the phase where I wanted to be mummified when I died)
However, the thought that has paralyzed me for years is that I do not have a Plan B. All the extensive planning and worrying about this issue has not resolved it still, which freaks the hell out of me on a daily basis. Suppose this writing/directing thing doesn't work out, what in hell am I supposed to do with my life? I have put all my eggs in this one basket, and if it fails I literally have no idea what I'm going to spend my life doing. So let's explore the options I've thought of so far…
There's always the 'housewife, stay-at-home Mom' option, but that requires a living, breathing male with an occupation that actually wants to spend his life with me to exist so that kind of rules that out. Option B is to enter the Special Service or whatever the hell it is that Mom has pushed for for about the past 13 years…(ever since I gave up on my dream of being a trash man) someone that travels around the world and helps developing countries with issues I do believe is what she's referring to. I think she's finally realized that it's not my dream to do that, it's hers. She's very supportive of my writing though, which is a big relief and a weight off my shoulders. I don't think I'd even pursue this without her immense support and I will always love her if only for that (besides the other billion reasons). Then there's C, being a reporter for a magazine or news agency or something…but that's never really interested me very much. In truth, nothing interests me as much as writing/directing which is my passion in life. (I've also considered being a therapist because I do like to give advice and help people, but that's very…eh…I've also been told that I'd make a good social worker and a nurse but, again, not really what I can picture myself doing for the rest of my life...)
I guess what I'm trying to find out here is…is it okay to not have a backup plan? I know some people say "Well that just pushes you to make sure your dream comes true", which is correct. But I am not so naive to believe that some people don't try their hardest and give their dream their all…and it still doesn't work out for them. I've seen it happen and it's crushing, heart breaking, humiliating, all at once. I couldn't handle that, I know that right at this very moment. I just need reassurance, I guess, that it's okay to really believe in this one thing and to only go for that without a safety net. There are both good sides and bad sides of having a Plan B…but right now I don't have one and it's really frightening me into working and striving harder for this "dream" to become a reality because if not, I fall. 
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November 28, 2013

Considering today is National-Turkey-Slaughter Day, I thought I'd do some research and find out exactly how this whole tradition started and what exactly we can all be thankful for.

The 'first Thanksgiving' that we Americans recognize happened right after the pilgrims harvested their first crops in the 'New World' and was a grand 3-day feast between the Indians and Pilgrims. However, Thanksgiving Day did not become a federal holiday until President Abraham Lincoln declared it a day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens."

Exciting stuff huh? Yeah, I didn't think so either. Thanksgiving today is less about the pilgrims and more about an excuse to gather the family together and enjoy stuffing and pie (somewhere Dean Winchester's ears are ringing). I know that some of my favorite memories from childhood are my multiple Thanksgivings (I say multiple because I have 2 each year, 1 with Mom and 1 with Dad on alternate days and schedules) with my family. From collecting the fall foliage outside (more like jumping into great big pile of leaves in my grouchy neighbor's yard and running with my Aunt who is an adult might I add) to 'helping' to cook inside (aka stay out of the way except for tasting runs), Thanksgiving has always been part of my favorite time of year.

This year I am thankful for the wonderful life I have been blessed with, my very best friend Ammie, my wonderful and kooky family, my kick-ass friends, and the fact that I am who I am and I actually like who I'm becoming (excuse the major corn factor here, you are what you eat and I've been stuffing myself with cornbread). What are you thankful for this year? Make a list and share it with those around you, I promise they'll love it.

Gobble Gobble
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November 23, 2013

As any female will attest, periods might just be the worst thing on Earth. And it's not just the pain, oh no, it's the constant ups and downs of our mood, weird cravings, and bouts of just plain bitchiness. One of the major antidotes to these symptoms is the bath. More specifically, the bubble bath. I just had the most wonderful bath. It may have been my best bath ever…it's definitely up there with the 2 hours I spent christening my grandparents Jacuzzi addition at their estate home last summer (wooow I sound hoity toity). I am going to share with you the incredible secret of this bath and why exactly it is the best bath to have when you are on your period or have just had the worst day ever.
Today I woke up only to discover that my period had started. Fantabulous. My mood was constantly all over the place, apologies to Mother for snapping at her about a billion times today, and by 5:30 I was just in a state of complete blah-ness that not even Zoella's videos on Youtube could cure (that's how severe it was). Two of the best tried-and-proven methods of relieving just about everything horrible that comes along with the regular juicing of your uterus are: exercise and relaxing baths. I experienced both today, which is good because without it I might have just blown up something or someone without them. My trainer worked me hard, but also noticed my bitchy mood (although I tend to always be bitchy when someone is making me sweat on purpose). He knew just how to clear it up, lucky for him otherwise I would have dropped a dumbbell accidentally-on-purpose on his foot. (Btw, the way to clear it up is to tell me that I'm extra-cute when I'm mad, and then keep calling me gorgeous throughout the entire session, in case anyone was wondering. Now I just sound like I'm bragging…moving on) But that didn't help the complete feeling of magenta that hit me later. For those of you who are new, I will define magenta for you. Magenta: When you're feeling down, but not quite completely 'blue', when you're randomly envious but not exactly 'green with envy', and when you're blech-y but not exactly 'yellow'. Boom, magenta. I hate the color, and the feeling, magenta. 
I will now share with you the recipe for this incredible, incredible bath that is only to be used in extreme cases for fear of over-using it in which time it stops being special.
Things You Will Need

  • Bubble bath (Bombshell recommendation: Lush Golden Wonder Bath Ballistic, one of their coveted Christmas items and lemme tell you, this is the best thing ever. It is all shimmery and gold on the outside, but as soon as that dissolves, it's TEAL inside! And inside that, there are actual little balls that are the 'present' of all different colors that swirl around in your bath making it look like a Monet painting. The resulting color of your bath water is teal, and throughout the entire bath it smells like literal heaven, and it's very rare to find something that keeps the bath scented for the entire time without being overpowering. This thing is pure magic. Word of warning, it leaves some golden sparkles in the bottom of your tub after draining so just be prepared to wash those out with a shower head or something.)
  • Your favorite coffee mug and hot chocolate mix (Bombshell recommendation: I used my "Diva to the Max" mug that Ammie gave me for Christmas two years ago, it remains one of my most prized possessions. I also recommend the Starbucks Peppermint Hot Chocolate mix for this particular bath because it is so luxurious and lovely that it is only fitting to have something this fancy-schmancy for this bath. Being lactose intolerant, I made my hot chocolate with soy milk which doesn't affect the taste in the slightest, still delicious.)
  • The biggest wine goblet you own and cool water, NO ICE 
  • Something to snack on (Bombshell recommendation: I decided upon those little single-serving packets of Goldfish for this bath because I didn't want anything sweet and this is the perfect size. You could choose fruit like strawberries or grapes, or even raw vegetables like cleaned raw green beans or sugar snap peas. It's really whatever you're craving at the moment.)
  • A playlist/CD full of your most relaxing songs (Bombshell recommendation: My current 'Relax' playlist is comprised of the following songs: All The Pretty Lights by Andrew Belle, The A Team by Ed Sheeran, World of Chances by Demi Lovato, A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope, Half of My Heart by John Mayer, Paradise by Tyler Ward, Home by Philip Philipps, The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra, The Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh, Lego House and Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran, Summertime Sadness and Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey, So Sick by Ne-Yo, Loved You First and They Don't Know About Us and Last First Kiss by One Direction.)
  • A fresh, new, clean towel
  • Either your a) snuggliest or b) silkiest robe. (Bombshell recommendation: I went with my silkiest robe that is actual silk and feels so wonderful next to my skin after a bath)
  • Candle(s) (Bombshell recommendation: go with whatever scent you've been loving lately, and try to get scents that compliment the soap and bubble bath scents you'll be using. I used a snicker doodle candle who's scent perfectly complimented the Golden Wonder Bath Ballistic and the Miranda Soap I used which by the way leaves your skin soft and supple and only a touch waxy, in a good way.)
  • At least 2 beauty magazines, NO TABLOIDS (Bombshell recommendations: I re-read one of my old Allure magazines, one with Katie Holmes on the cover, and discovered a makeup trend I'm thinking of trying tomorrow when I go out to dinner with friends. I had another Allure and a Seventeen magazine at the ready as well.)
  • Your favorite comfort book (Bombshell recommendations: I chose the book 'You Have 7 Messages' which is just..ahh amazing. I highly recommend it to everyone. Although it's not a challenging read by any means, the story it conveys is just incredible and is indeed my comfort book of choice.)
Once you have gathered all these things in your bathtub, start the bath. Fill up the tub a little bit with lukewarm-ish water and crumble the bath ballistic/pour in the bubble bath and swirl it around. Do not get in yet. Light the candle and turn off as many of the lights as you want. I left one mini blue light illuminating the mirror on and that was it, that and the candle. Turn the water a little hotter and sip your hot chocolate a few times before stripping and getting in. Don't have the water be the hottest it can go right now, it will get too hot too quickly and spoil it. Start playing the music softly if it isn't already and lean back, only sipping your hot chocolate whilst the tub fills around you. Inhale the scent of the bath and really taste the peppermint chocolate on your tongue. Don't read, and really don't look at any electronics. Except for what's playing your music, I suggest you leave all other electronics out of the bathroom.
You can turn the bath water a little hotter now, but don't do anything until you finish your hot chocolate. (Bombshell recommendations: I didn't ever turn the water as hot as it can possibly go. It may feel good for a few seconds, but soon it gets way too hot and spoils everything) Even after the mug was empty, I just sat and half dozed off as the water filled around me. After I turned the tap off, it was steamier in that bathroom than in Lil' Wayne's hotel room. After my tiny power-nap, I picked up the Allure and read that for a while by the flickering candle light (I'm sure my optometrist will be thrilled to hear about that)--first learning about the "sunset eyes" makeup trick used by Louis Vuitton and Gucci in their latest fashion shows. I look forward to trying it. Afterwards I read '7 Reasons Why' for a while and then used my Miranda soap for the first time. I still smell amazing! All-in-all I give this bath a 9.5, only the 2nd bath in my lifetime to achieve a rating that high. Why not a 10? It's a rather personal reason…let's just say that something or someone was missing and that's all I'll say on THAT! I hope that you have as wonderful an experience as I had with this bath, my apologies for the gargantuan post.

Stay beautiful lovelies XOXO
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November 20, 2013

Today's society measures everyone by one simple rule: where do you fit in? This is probably most evident in High School (nicely portrayed by HSM I believe) when you're either a Jock, a Nerd, a Plastic, or a Stoner, among countless other categories. But it doesn't stop at high school, oh no. Your whole life you will try to be filed carefully in one category or the other: Employed/Not Employed, Famous/Ordinary, Rich/Poor etc. (Side note: we won't get into race because that's a whole different kind of categorizing that is also wrong) What I have found, in my very full 15.76 years on this Earth, is that a lot of people don't fit so neatly into these basic categories, and they worry about not being accepted because of it.
Take Rich/Poor for example. A lot of 'rich' people, are only wealthy in material possessions and have poor life and people skills (i.e. Donald Trump) where a lot of people who are 'poor' because they don't have the frivolous material things the world insists upon, are often the richest in heart where it truly counts. This isn't always the case, Bill Gates is a 'rich' person who also has a wise outlook on life and looks to help others as much as he can, and sometimes 'poor' people are people who have the worst outlook on life and are truly poor inside as well. These are some of the many exceptions to 'the rule'. 
Now let's look at high school, the main focus of this soap box-worthy speech. Stereotypically, the Jocks and the Plastics (Mean Girls, anyone?) rule the school jointly, often mixing between species. In America, the football players (quarterbacks most usually) are the top of the food chain, their head cheerleader girlfriends the lead bitch for the girls. Everyone knows their names, and usually everyone hates them. I've always struggled with this concept: why are the 'popular' people most often the most hated? But I digress…the 'nerds', 'dorks', and 'geeks' are often at the bottom of the food chain and yet at the top of every class, with braces and big thick glasses. I challenge all these parameters and think they should be completely disregarded in all walks of life.
For example, who says that the 1st string, starting quarterback that leads the school to victory in the big championship, can't also have an A+ in chemistry? Or…that girl with big glasses and frizzy hair that loves reading and kicks ass in math class can't be Prom Queen? (I know, I sound like a Selena Gomez song meets a Taylor Swift music video) My point is…finding where you fit in your school/life/work/wherever, isn't easy because people do file you away like this. I don't know about you, but my personality doesn't fit so neatly into a form.
Personally…I am still figuring out where I fit into this big spiderweb of life, and high school. At first I also thought that I had to find one specific group and let that group define me, that I've since found out is completely bs and the mere attempt is exhausting and painful. I joined Academic Bowl this year…but do I fit in completely amongst the school's smart elite where they all know the answer to 'Who was the 37th President of the United States and what was his favorite breakfast food?'? Not completely…which scared me a bit at first. I mean, I do have my place among them, my nerdy side as I like to call it (pretty much stereotyping myself with that one), but I don't completely fit with nothing left over. Then am I a Jock? (Or…was I is a better way of putting it but whatever, just pretend I'm still swimming) Well…I didn't really feel welcome by the swim team, which is why I left, but I have been swimming competitively for approximately 13.5 years now. But that's not exactly me either….then comes the group I'm with the majority of the time. Definitely not the top in the school, but so far from the last. We kind of just sit in the middle of the hierarchy, maybe one of the more genuinely-friendly groups, in our grade anyway. (I'd rather not pick a category for our table, lest I offend the people sitting at it) Well what about the Youtuber-artsy-girly-beanie-wearing group? I fit in there a lot, but not completely. (And the word 'artsy' covers poetry-loving and all writing) So where in the hell do I fit??
The truth is…I fit in all of them. That's something that makes me incredibly unique, I'm part nerd, part jock, part comic relief, and part 'preppy'. This is just who I am. It took me a while to figure it out, sure, and it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to accept, this existing without one specific category, but like it or not…this is where I 'fit' in my school. I have friends from all sides (and actually I fit into a lot of smaller categories in a lot of smaller ways but these are the biggest ones) and I love spending time with all of them because it's always a different experience with each of them. Sometimes there's a bit of friction and tension between the groups, which is only to be expected. They're two puzzle pieces that don't exactly fit together, but are forced together in the person that I am. I've come to terms and made peace with all these things, indeed I'm quite happy that I have found places where I feel accepted and loved, but I know a lot of people who don't understand this concept. They leap from one group to another in search of where they are completely accepted, and the truth is that they may never find it. 
Sure, some people fit completely into one category and that's okay as well! You shouldn't feel bad for 'only' fitting into one category, just like you shouldn't worry if you fit into multiple social orders. It all depends on the person that you are (and/or want to be) as to where you fit in. Think of it all like you're baking something. You can either use the pre-made mix (one group) to make it, or you make it from scratch with all different ingredients (multiple groups). The biggest thing to keep in mind, is to not let any group define you, you should define yourself first, find a group (or even form one) later.

Letting others define who you are is the surest way to lose yourself.
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November 17, 2013

(Told you I'd be back soon!)
So today was one of the more-fun days I've had in a while. After the longest time I went on an actual girly shopping spree with Tate (aka Carla), a friend I've recently rekindled my friendship with. As you may know, we were on hiatus all through 9th grade (some immature differences, it's all water under the bridge), and now we have rekindled. Our friendship is actually stronger then it ever was before and I am so grateful, she has offered a new dimension to 10th grade that I never knew I was missing. She and I are so alike it's incredible, we are both writers, both have the same ambitions in life, and there is so much more. In an attempt to make up for lost time, we planned a shopping trip. (I'll tell you more about Tate at some point later in time)
We met at, where else, Starbucks and immediately went from there. Where you may ask? LUSH of course! Above in the picture (my apologies for the rather crap lighting) is my 'haul'. Tate's is much bigger, much more of an actual haul. She has ten items whilst I have 7. But nevertheless, lets walk you through my mini haul because Lush is my most favorite store on this entire planet (besides maybe Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe and Wildfox…okay I have a lot).

  1. The white stuff in the bottle is "American Cream" hair conditioner because my hair needs some serious TLC. 
  2. The purple stuff in the bottle next to it is "Daddy-O" (the title is weird but just go with it). It's shampoo for blondes to help my hair not be so gross.
  3. The big yellow-wrapped one next to it is the "Space Girl Bath Ballistic" it's a little blue/purple space ship that smells so yummy I cannot wait to use it!
  4. The yellow packet after that is the "Lord of Misrule Bath Ballistic" that is a greenish teal color with sparkles and specks of color in it that smells like heaven, literally. 
  5. The top rectangle bar, top of the two bottles, is the "Wiccy Magic Muscles Massage Bar" that has white on one side and like a purple layer with the actual massaging part that smells like spicy peppermint. 
  6. The one new to that is the "Golden Wonder" thing that looks like a Christmas present with a gold  bow tied around the white box, part of their wonderful Christmas collection. It smells like an angel.
  7. And my final one on the top is the "Miranda Soap" that smells like how you would imagine Miranda Kerr to smell, all sweet and fresh.

Lush is like my favorite place ever, it smells so wonderful going in there and then it's just ahhhhhh heaven. Tate and I went in there THREE TIMES during our shopping spree and stayed for at least 40 minutes each time I bet. It was so much fun! We also popped into Topshop and found out that we both can indeed rock beanies, which is a fact neither of us knew before, and we even stopped by a few mens clothing stores to shop for our boyfriends (neither of which exist might I add). I always have fun with Tate and this shopping trip was very much needed. I HIGHLY suggest you pop into the next Lush shop you see and expect to spend a good hour drooling over their products.

XOXO
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