February 18, 2015

The Grudge: One of the Scariest Emotional Monsters

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Girl World, there were two girls that had an argument. One started talking sh*t about the other, the other got really ugly. Suddenly the two girls aren't talking and only respond with angry grunts when asked about the other. There's tension whenever the two girls are around each other and everyone can feel it.

Sadly....this isn't a totally hypothetical situation. Everyone always has that one person who just manages to step on every. single. nerve. That one person who just can't let it go (which means neither can you anytime someone else brings that one person up). We may promise ourselves that we're "over it" and we're "done with their drama" but honestly if we still get riled up when talking about it, we're clearly not over it--despite what we may tell ourselves. 
Now, I've personally been grudging about my own one person for a couple months now and the feeling is completely mutual (believe me). I won't bore you with the details of what happened between us but just understand that we aren't exactly best friends. 
Now this girl has friends in the same circle as me (I hate saying "friendship circle" because it sounds like a cross between a hippie commune and the Plastics but whatever) so she's been spending more time at our lunch table etc. so I see her more often. We usually ignore each other, adding to the awkward tension already brewing between us and everyone else who knows the situation.

Anyway, she was talking to the people sitting directly around me today and they were all laughing and stuff and, not wanting to just sit there and ignore her, I chimed in and made a joke in the vein of the conversation. And then.....a miracle happened. We made eye contact, she smiled, she laughed, and she said something funny back. She then moved to sit down further down the table but I felt so gobsmacked that we were able to interact without a dangerous passive aggressive undertone that I was happy for the rest of lunch! Are we suddenly friends again? No.....but we don't have to ignore each other like two kids fighting over a toy in the playroom. 

(My little story here may be "soo High School" but you know there's a very good reason for that. I'm still in High School.)

So much of our energy is absolutely wasted on holding grudges and staying angry at someone for something that yes, we have the right to be angry about but that we shouldn't still be feuding over a year later. All this anger is hurting you a lot more than it hurts the person you're upset with, I promise. If you can find a way to diffuse the situation after a little time, to move on and focus on all the positives in your life I promise it's for the best. Good energy attracts good energy--put good things out into the universe and get good things back #karma 
In total honesty, this post is inspired (not only by Mean Girls #classic) by the beginning of Lent--which is today, Ash Wednesday. Lent is a season of repentance and rebirth--a time to renew yourself, your spirit, and your soul. Even if you don't keep the fast yourself, you can still use the energy that will be buzzing around you by the Christians and Catholics keeping Lent to detox your soul--out with the gunky winter and in with the beautiful spring! (Both metaphorically and meteorologically) Personally I'm keeping the fast by shunning all junk food for 40 days although my "sacrifice" seems small compared to some of the devout Catholics I know practicing the traditional Lenten fast: one meal a day with only small snacks for the other two. (The point of this is to really make you start to think and reflect by making you uncomfortable, getting you out of your comfort zone)

Have you found yourself in this situation with someone recently? What have you done to diffuse the situation? 


Also: 新年快乐 / 新年快樂 / Happy Chinese New Year! The year of the Sheep promises to be prosperous to all born in Years of the Snake (personally I was born the Year of the Tiger--hear me roar). I encourage you to research your own Chinese astrological zodiac in addition to any horoscoping you may take up in your own time (Aquarius, woo)--here's a useful website that can give you predictions, your own Zodiac, and little know-hows about Chinese astrology.

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