August 31, 2013

Looking Back....

Was bored and scrolling through my blog to see if anything needed fixing, and I clicked on my very first post. Wow. What a difference in content this blog has seen since then!

Basically when I started this, quite honestly, I was expecting to either A) Give up on this halfway through or B) Actually lose the weight I wanted to and become the person I wanted to be. But, as those of you who read my summer blog (My Perfect Summer) can tell, a lot happened over the summer and even on this blog, the content has changed from me wanting to basically overhaul my entire person to sharing the experiences I'm going through. What does this tell us?

Well....I'm still trying to inspire my little social butterfly, which you can probably tell by my recent post entitled "Leader of the Pack", but I've stopped talking about wanting to lose weight and change my personality. So, you might think I've accomplished my goal. HA!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Okay, I'm back from my momentary laugh attack. Looking in the mirror now, as opposed to say....five months ago when I started this blog, I suppose I don't look that much different. But I feel different. As you (may) know, a lot of stuff happened over the summer, good and bad, and it changed the person that I am.

I got closer to my (younger) brother (and his friends, as you know *sigh heaping with backstory that some of you may know from reading the other blog*) which in turn actually made me think about things differently and influenced my taste in music a bit. I found a boy (or two *ashamed blushing*) that also influence my thinking and (one of them anyway) makes my stomach drop when we talk. I got so much closer, which I honestly didn't think was possible, to my best friend and "was dumped" by another really, really close friend that I miss terribly (although I'm really pissed at her as well) that nearly brought me to an emotional breakdown from all the highs and lows. 

You get the point, shit went down. So what does this all have to do with my original goals of losing weight and changing my personality? Well, I've realized that maybe I don't need to do all of that. I have people I really love all around me and I don't know why I was focusing so much on people that may be saying this or may be saying that. I'm just done with that. 

I mean, I still want to tone up, particularly my back and my legs and my abs basically everything, but I no longer think I need to lose weight. I'm sure that will happen naturally as long as I keep eating the healthy cooking that Mom makes for us (which means no more runs to 7-11 for a Butterfinger bar) and going to the gym. I try to make working out fun now so I don't get bored of it (because as you know I'm not swimming this year at least and I need to be active, inactivity is not an option for me), and there are several ways to do that that I've already discovered. Such as tennis with Angie, running around the track after school (again with Angie), Body Combat classes (kick boxing and martial arts, I feel so kick-ass afterwards), actually trying in gym class etc. 

So, in short, I haven't lost my goals. I just changed them. It's necessary to change your goals as you grow older, some goals become unfeasible and others just morph into something that you realize later was completely ridiculous. No one should change their personalities just so they can make themselves more likable to other people, who don't even like them in the first place. No no. Change for yourself, not for them. The right people will find you, and if they truly are the "right" people, they won't ask you to change or expect you to. (Total cliche, I know, but hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it so....)


P.S. (check me out on tumblr by clicking here thanks a bunch guys!)

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